Winning Comes From What We See, Hear & Feel!

Emotion Creates Motion, Winning Comes from What We See, Hear & Feel!

Everything is first a thought and then an action. We see something, we think something, and we do something. It is the same thing with our hearing. We hear one song, we dance - we hear another, we cry.

The words and the tone of those words we use to describe the experience, becomes the experience.

We hear kind words in a soft tone and we feel appreciated. We hear harsh, loud mean words - we feel sad.

If spoken directly to us, harsh, loud mean words can make us feel wounded. If fact, research shows the number one driving force for a negative self-image is the pervasive effect of verbal abuse. When defined, it is because we have a greater difficulty defending ourselves from the attack.

How do you let people, piers, family, friends, coaches and clients talk to you? How do you talk with them? People who allow people to speak to them in harsh, mean and insensitive manors become depressed and self-destructive in life and develop anxiety.

Verbal abusers are dependent on the attention they get from their victims. It is their "fix". Verbal abusers need a participant and it becomes a codependent situation. They are passive aggressive and they are toxic to be around. And they can distort that "winning feeling". Victims of verbal abuse speak of the extreme mental anguish and emotional pain they experience.

Each day we have a new opportunity to model the values and virtues we want to promote in our lives. It starts and stops with us, you and I as individuals. Even Tiger Woods dad Earl knew this. He gave his son a safety word, “enough” – “No rule or lesson was ever crammed down Tiger’s throat”, says Earl. The trust between these two meant screaming wasn’t necessary. (For details of the Woods virtues, read "Tiger Virtues" by Alex Tresniowski)

So when is enough – enough? When you decide! Stop going through the motions in life and rediscover what brings you joy. When times get tough, focus on what you're passionate about and surround “you” with the people, places and things that make you happy.